AWKWARD ZOMBIE

GOD






DAMMIT

Oh god as if I wasn't paranoid enough about looking in the bowl before sitting down

I always check the condition of the seat and water before I sit down to take a dump.

Do not want to sit on piss
do not want to splash piss/diarrhea onto myself.



this is more tmi isn't it

At least it's spoilered.

And honestly, I am not afraid of that. I'm not afraid of a lot of things, strangely.

You're not afraid of a GIANT SPIDER crawling on/biting your manhood?

Wouldn't it get crushed when you sit down?

Then you'd get insect blood all over.

Unless it's under the seat, maybe.

Maybe you'd just have a few drops then.

I'll be the guy. *sigh*


You'll get arachnid blood and parts all over your... parts.

Oh right, I forgot spiders don't count as insects. I think so anyway.

I used to visit my aunt down in Georgia, and she has a greenhouse business where we would spend most of our days. Her house is built in the woods behind the greenhouse, on some of the spare acres she had. It is a spider haven. I already have a phobia of spiders, so it did not help when she told me to always check the toilet seats for Black Widows because they have a tendency to hide underneath. What also did not help were the stories she told me of the few people who came into the hospital she used to work at that had been bitten this way and aldkjfaldfkssf no.

I check toilet seats no matter where I am.

I don't normally have a fear of spiders, but I'm still not going anywhere near a place where a spider is THAT big. And it was just like "LOL nice shoe you got dere!" NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPEICANHOLDITNOPENOPE!

Needless to say, Evolution needs to stop going to Australia to experiment with it's addiction to crack and other forms of drugs.

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this is why i don't trust beef

PETA would (excuse the pun) have a cow

Le Great Handsome Oppressor's worst nightmare.

didn't see that coming

I thought cow nipples were the udders?

Also, how the hell do fashion designers make a living? Who the hell buys shit like that in ample amounts for them to have enough cheddar to keep on doing stuff like that?