AWKWARD ZOMBIE

If the words Cake and Lie are used in the same sentence within seven pages of this post, shit will be slapped

But, Mander,
You said them.

And it is not a lie, it is an eye.

the cake is alive

I'd probably still eat that cake. It looks like it was pretty expensive

This is why Pie is superior to cake.

But all cakes are spies.

No Through Road 2

He's alive! And there's a hook for more.
I am excite

I don't want to buy Minecraft anymore ;_____;

I see nothing wrong with thi-HOLY SHIT

I saw it and was all like.

Dat Enderman. T_T

Also, holy shit musicandilikeit your sig is huuuuuge.

So this morning I finished my route earlier than I ever have before, and I've received no complaints for almost a week.

And this morning was still the worst route I've ever done.

I pulled onto a cul-de-sac, delivered a few papers, and turned to leave. There was a shredded newspaper in the middle of the street on my way out. That paper, shredded to ribbons and strewn from curb to curb, was NOT there when I pulled into the cul-de-sac. I got out and looked and it was a rival newspaper, not one of my papers, so as weird as it was, I didn't think much of it.

Ten minutes later I pulled onto another cul-de-sac. This one was longer so it took a minute or so more than the last one. As I made my u-turn and left the street, there was a pile of shredded newspapers blocking my way. Again, these papers were not there when I entered the street. I could tell from inside my truck that these were also the rival's papers, which was good because I was NOT getting out of my truck to check. I was freaking out, but I continued.

I had one more street to do before pulling onto the main road and moving on. When I finished the street and got ready to leave, there was a large tree branch blocking my way out. I swerved to avoid it and then drove over a nearby pile of tree limbs and brush. NONE OF THIS WAS HERE FIVE MINUTES AGO. I had something caught onto the bottom of my truck, making noise as I started to drive away. I could have gotten out and removed whatever it was, but I said FUCK THIS and stomped the accelerator. I know better than to stop and get out of my vehicle in the middle of an obvious trap. I drove all the way to my next delivery before I finally removed the tiny branch from one of the wheels.

Worst route I've ever done.